Depression doesn’t always hit the sad or gloomy ones wo happen to have a recent mishap in their life or have undergone some serious shit in their past either from society or from parental misdemeanor etc. It could reside within the happiest of the souls who laugh out loud and apparently live the most amazing lifestyle one could crave for; or those who are the life of a party, whose smile brightens up a room without much effort… or even those who appear calm and composed and probably don’t even know if they are undergoing such a thing as depression, which they thought would never hit them because they aren’t sad all. To them, it’s all okay to feel a bit hypertensive, a little too pumped up than usual trying to do too many things altogether because their life patterns involve such twists and chaos
But no, depression is like the many faced gods! Comes in different shapes and sizes and displays. It could be the you lacking focus, feeling fidgety with your fingers or phone, you not being able to finish off your tasks because you lose track, taking help from audio books and music to put you you to sleep, biting on your nails more than often, pacing up and down not knowing why, feeling constantly hungry or not knowing why you’re doing something like avoiding someone in specific, not having a direction, not feeling the drive to move forward or feel excitement for the things you would go bonkers over, feeling that tremble in your knees each time you stood up after a long broken sleep, all these are sort of, in a way, suggestive of a welcoming depressive stage that may not loom upon you the way it usually does on any other depression suffering individual but rather in a very unique way, because you yourself wouldn’t know it is anxiety and depression that’s overtaking you slowly. Eventually, you could be blaming yourself for losing out on opportunities because you didn’t have the strength to respond to them on time or not being able to fulfill commitments
but it’s okay, don’t take this too ahead …
The only way to combat such a phase is to communicate as often often as possible with one of your favourite “listeners” at least, talk about your condition out loud, accept it and filter out stuff that’s important to complete first, work slowly but gradually covering one point at a time – don’t overburden yourself with too many tasks that it irritates you. Go out often to divert your mind, watch some thing nice with your family and most importantly meditate – know that these are phases that can be dealt with some patience and understanding of the issue. Don’t beat yourself about the incompetencies you have been displaying; you are human, allow yourself to make some mistakes,you cant always be perfect. And it’s alright if you want to shut off your mobile for a while to cut off from the world while you gather your peace. If you really want to avoid some specific people, do it, they’re probably the reason of the toxin boiling up inside so either you build the courage to spit it all out or if that’s a tried and tested-but-failed technique then resort to complete avoidance. All in all, don’t let this seclusion phase get to you too much because yes, these certainly unusual behaviours and carry potential depression with them. Which is why talking helps, because sometimes in talking out how you feel and accepting it makes it a lot easier at the end.